NOT 24

  I have NO idea how to be single at 36.  No idea.  Like, for real.  I have no idea how to even begin.  I have two kids, and also, the body that gave birth to those two gigantic baby boys.  What the fuck do I know about being single? Nothing. That's what.  Not one thing.  This is completely foreign to me.  Back in the day when I was truly single, it was effortless.  I was never single for more than a day or two.  They were waiting in line for me.  

That was during my 20's.  I'm not 24 anymore.  I certainly don't look 24 anymore.  I have no idea how to be single at 36.... especially when I look like a 36 year old.

This divorce, and the proceedings that are involved is the most alone I've ever been in my life.  Since birth, I've always had a teammate.  Being a twin, I've never really had to do anything alone.  So, yeah, I'm pretty stupid when it comes to all this stuff.

I anticipate being alone for a good long while.  I've reached out to two guys from my past during this period.  It hasn't turned out well.  Either time...  I think I keep letting my psycho show. 

Guess I need to work on my game.  Or I need to work on  being alone, and being ok with that..