Tavern

December 2008... I think. Possibly November.

John had been working at a particular chain restaurant for a little while now.  Long enough that insurance benefits had kicked in, and I was beginning to feel a little more confident in our financial status and over all well being.  It seemed like he was happy in this position, as GM at a busy Times Square hot spot.  His first job after selling our bar, Molly's.  I was starting to breath again.

There was a good amount of travel involved with this new position. The headquarters were in Dallas.   Every couple of weeks they were sending him down there for more training and what not.  Because it was winter, the travel plans were often delayed and/or cancelled. Not the end of the world, but annoying when you have an infant and toddler at home and are the only means of transportation to get to and from the airport.  Regardless, I tried to go with it and happily drop him off and pick him up during all this time... desperately trying to be 100% supportive, and also constantly reminding him that this job gave us so much stability, and possibility of pension, 401k, good insurance, etc. I always felt like I had to remind him of the reasons why he HAD to keep this job.  He was so flighty with all of his past jobs since I'd known him. 

In the course of our 7 year relationship, he held 8 different jobs. 8.  In the course of our relationship, I held 2.  1- Sheraton Ny (I was there for about 7 years)  2- Mother.

------Pause----- this is one of those blog entries that is hard for me to write.  For many reasons. It has been a few years now..  but mostly, what you will read from here on, is the story of me starting to really come undone. My feelings being hurt beyond repair, and the beginning of my realization that I didn't just marry a guy who lies. I married a guy who is sick, and will ONLY lie.

So back to the story. Back and forth back and forth to and from the airport... Waiting on paychecks, waiting on insurance cards.... very frustrating.  All the while he keeps telling me about the incompetence of their corporate offices-- he can't believe how behind they are in the paperwork etc.

Fast forward--   At some point, after a whole lot of confusion, and lost pay checks and whatnot, John calls me to tell me that his direct supervisor, Rich, wants to take us out to dinner.  In part to welcome us to the family, and to apologize for all the red tape mishaps, and so that I could meet his fiance, and we could all start forming a nice relationship--- so that I knew who my husband was working with, and so that his fiance knew who he was working with. Very nice.

John goes on to tell me that Rich is taking us to Tavern on the Green. Nice.  I had heard rumors of it's imminent closure, but was psyched none the less.  At this point, I was about 4 months pregnant with our second son, and was already showing.... a lot.  So I called my best friend who has awesome taste and a really good fashion sense, and a relatively similar frame to mine... and was also 4 months pregnant.  I needed a dress suitable for Tavern, asap!

She lent me a really pretty black dress. Fitted, interestingly enough, that showed off the belly, but disguised everything else quite elegantly.  Ok.  I could do this.

The date finally rolled around to when we were supposed to go to dinner.  I got a phone call from John at sometime early that afternoon.  Rich had to cancel. His fiance was sick.  He didn't know if she ate something bad, or caught something on the flight to NY, but regardless, they wouldn't be able to make it, and they are SO sorry!

(Sigh) I was so disappointed and relieved at the same time.  I really wanted to go out to a nice dinner. It has been a loooong time. But, truthfully, I was ok with staying home. I'm a home body. Especially when I'm pregnant. Just as happy to pop a bowl of popcorn and snuggle down on the couch.

Fast forward a couple of weeks...

There was a knock at the door.  My mailman. Weird.  I open the door, and he hands me a certified letter and asks for my signature.

It's a cobra option.  It's from X company informing us of our insurance options.  He hadn't been working there for a couple of weeks.  The Tavern situation was all made up- according to the dates on the cobra notice..  He had made it all up.

I guess it was an attempt to keep the story of him having a job real.  He created an entire scenario that included me, to keep me convinced he was still actively employed. Completely unwarranted. It's not like I was the wife who nagged to go out to dinner and/or meet his co-workers.  He just came up with the idea one day and ran with it.

He saw me stress over finding something to wear.. knew I was at my best friend's house trying to find something appropriate to make a good impression. Crazy.

Fast forward some more--- it turns out that during one of John's early trips to Dallas, the mob guys that he owed money to tracked him down and knew he was working at X.  Apparently, they showed up at X one night when John was in Texas, and shook things up quite a bit.  They made it very clear that John owed them a lot of money, and that they would be regular fixtures there until they got what they wanted.

For some reason, company X was NOT ok with this.  They released him right away. He failed to mention that over pancakes.