The night time is the right time to be with the one you love.

Nights are lonely here.  I count the minutes until the boys go to bed just to try to unwind and have some peace.    Get a few things done- fold the laundry without having to stand guard against tiny tots prowling around trying to tackle the piles to the floor.  Straighten the kitchen up from a full day's worth of meals, snacks, art projects. Set up the coffee pot. Do all these things without interruption.

Next, make a snack and sit in front of the tv to watch some "real" shows that don't involve spongebob or any of his cartoon buddies.  Kill some time in front of the computer on facebook, or ranting about one thing or another on this blog. 

The thing is, it gets lonely quick.  I like having alone time.  I think everyone does sometimes.  I guess the difference is voluntary versus involuntary alone time that makes the difference.  I have no choice but to sit here night after night alone.  No husband to fight about the remote control with, and joke around with or share stories of the day.  No one sitting next to me to make fun of the American Idol contestants with me, or listen to me pour out my soul about my worries about mine and the boys futures.. or my dreams for what I want to do to get out of this situation.  Just me and the couch.  Sure the dogs are an ever present force after the boys go to bed--- but they're just using me. They just want me for my thumbs. They can't open the fridge themselves.  If they could, they wouldn't bother with me either!

Back in the pre-babies days, I never had to be alone if I didn't want to.  I could make a few calls or texts, and either have someone come over, or go out and meet up with people.  I could choose to sit at home alone some nights too.  It was my choice.
Here, in this town that I haven't lived in since I was 24, I don't have any girls in town that I could just call and tell them to come over.  I do have 1 or 2 friends locally, but they have families of their own to spend their nights with.

It's funny. I really do count the minutes, literally until it's the kid's bedtimes... and then I miss the company.