Stormy Weather

The crazy wind storms that we've been having in the past 2 days had me on pins and needles that we were going to lose power.  Laying in bed last night, I was flinching with each gust of wind, listening to the awnings on my window flap around wildly, and I was just waiting for one of the huge metal hinges to come crashing in on me. 

It reminded me of when I was still living in NJ.  For some reason, the town that we were in seemed like it was right smack in the middle of an extreme weather belt.  If Manhattan was getting flurries, we were getting 6 inches of snow, and we were just across the river.  If South Jersey was getting a thunder storm, we would get lightning strikes and downed trees.

When R was about 2 weeks old, we got one of those crazy lightning storms.  It was about 5:30pm(ish) when the sky turned black, and the storm rolled in.  Of course, John was at work (or maybe I should say, "work"), and I was sick just thinking of what I would do with myself and the two boys if the power went out... that's when I saw a huge flash right outside the front living room window. A tree branch fell and took out the power on the whole block.  J was exactly 2 years, and 2 weeks old, and as I mentioned, R was 2 weeks old.  So this meant no fridge, no microwave, no a.c., and worst of all, NO TV!!!  What do I do with a 2 year old for 2 hours before bed when it's pitch black, and I'm taking care of a 2 week old? 

Luckily, the restaurant that John ran was just a 15 minute cab ride, or 20 bus ride from our house.  So I called him to tell him that he absolutely had to come home.  I was exhausted, having just had a baby 2 weeks ago and hadn't slept since then.  And I just couldn't handle being here in the dark with the 2 of them by myself.   He said no. He couldn't.  Just like that.  It didn't matter that technically he was the "boss"- with 3 managers working under him.  He just was not going to come home.  No amount of pleading or crying on my part was going to change that.  Truthfully, I wasn't surprised.  This was not the first time that I needed him home and he refused. The first time this happened was St Patty's day 2008, but that story is for another time.
I supposed one thing that I've taken from this whole shitty experience is that I don't need him.  I don't "need" a man to come to my rescue.  I can handle it.  Would I *like* to have the kind of man that I could depend on to rescue me when I felt scared and vulnerable? Yes, with sugar on top.  Do I need one? Apparently not.

 So I lit some candles and put them up high, brought some cookies and toys to my bed and made the best of it.  And it sucked.  J cried and was scared and wanted to watch tv and turn on the lights.  R cried because, well, that's what 2 week old babies do.

So we all cried until we all fell asleep.  And I lived to tell the story.