My First Babies

This morning I had to go to the supermarket for a couple of things.  Just the basics-  milk, bread, eggs.. and a few extra things for a Family Halloween party at my Aunt's house.   I was able to slip out without the boys noticing, which is always a blessing.  So much easier when I'm food shopping solo.  I coasted through the aisles, knowing exactly what I wanted and where I'd find them.

And then the unexpected happened.  En route to the dairy aisle- the last and final destination of every grocery shopping trip, I absent mindedly walked down the pet food aisle.  I didn't even think about it.  I just turned the corner naturally, as part of the rythm of my food shopping ritual.  I caught myself completely off guard.  I realized that I'd done it the second I was in the aisle.  But I continued down it, just because it's easier to continue down that aisle and turn up the dairy aisle. . crowds being what they are on Sunday mornings.... everyone out to get the cold cuts, wings, and cans of chili and cheese for Sunday football.  

 As I passed the treats that I pick up for the pups on every grocery trip, the tears came.   Fast and furious.  I was grateful to be wearing my baseball hat.   I lowered the brim, took a deep breath, and quickly grabbed the milk and bread and headed for the "self check out."  There's no way I would've been able to handle the human interaction of chatting with a cashier.

I figured it was coming.  I was trying to keep a stiff upper lip during the entire exchange of  custody.  I know that they are happier there.  I know that it's for their own good.. but for selfish reasons, my heart breaks every day that they are not here with me.  I'm sure they miss me and the boys.  I just hope that they don't have that horrible human trait of wondering why.  I hope they don't wonder if they did something wrong to make their Mama give them away.. I know dogs are smart... I just hope that they're not TOO smart. lol.  I know they love their Dad and that he loves them.  I just really hope they are being taken care of properly.