20/20

For anyone who's read my past posts, this most recent one (100th post), comes as a contradiction. .  I know.  With almost every entry I put down, I have thoughts that contradict  those very thoughts.  I guess that's part of what got me in the situation I'm in.  My inability to make the right decisions and sort out my thoughts.  The grass is always greener theory is just too ever present in my psyche.
I posted that I want love in my most recent blog.  At the same time, in my present mind, Love is the last thing in the world that I want to enter my world.   I don't need anymore factors to confuse me.  I have enough to deal with already.

But at the same time, when I read someone Else's blog about going through a really hard time and leaning on their husband, or talk on the phone to a friend or sister who then bounces ideas off of their husbands, it absolutely stings.  I want someone on my team. For better or worse.  I want someone on my team for rich or for poor.  I don't want all the crap that goes with it, but I sure do want someone to go through all that crap with.