Off the hook.

I decided to cut "Sam" loose.  Sam- the guy that I've been kind of seeing, but not.   It finally registered with me that he's seriously NOT into having anything to do with me, other than a very sporatic get together.   He was in my nieghborhood last night after he worked a 24 hour shift.   He was having dinner at his Mother's house two blocks from me, and had to make an appearance at a wake in town.   I told him that he should have let me know he was going to be in town, and that I would've gotten a babysitter for an hour or two so we could've grabbed a drink
He replied that he just wanted to go home and vegge afterwards.   And that was the stab that finally snapped me out of my imaginary world where he liked me and wanted to be with me when he could.

So, just like that, I let him know that I was letting him off the hook.  "Cutting him loose" was the term I think I used.  We communicated back and forth about it.  And I think we both agree that it's for the best.   I was looking for more than he was ready to give.   I wanted to be able to see him when he was available.. I wanted to feel wanted.  He wanted to have  space and freedom, and just keep things very casual and not feel the need to check in with me as often as I would have liked.   I wanted more of a physically present relationship, and I think overcompinsated with text demands.  

It was a good little run though.  It was absolutely what I needed to have to get me back in the saddle again.  It successfully woke up a huge part of me that was buried for so many years.  He was a perfect rebound guy for me.  Completely non threatenng, and nice and polite.  He was honest from day 1 about his intentions, and we had some fun times together.  I don't have any regrets about how it all came to pass. 

I feel so much more ready to be back in the game again.  I also feel like I made a good friend from this.  I stilll think he's a good guy, with good intentions... just not any intentions with me.  So, moving on...

Tomorrow night is one of my favorite nights of the year for the past 10 or 11 years.  It's the Sheraton Christmas party.  It is always a crazy, out of control party that lasts waaay longer than it should year after year.  There's going to be a lot of drinking and dancing and partying with a whole bunch of people that are like family to me.    I have NO doubt that I will have some stories to blog about after tomorrow night..  There's even a very good chance that moving on from my rebound today was perfect timing.  You never know what might happen at the office Christmas parties...