Oh, so where to start, where to start...
OK. This morning was my second scheduled "preliminary" court date for my divorce. Those of you that have been following my story, will recall that John didn't show up to the first one. He pleaded "unaware" by reason of fucking stupidity.. and by that, I mean, he claims he never received the memo. He claimed that since he had since changed his address (for the 3rd time in 2 years), he didn't get the mail. I won't mention the fact that he manages to receive the monthly check without a problem, despite the fact that it still gets mailed to his brother's house (for those of you keeping count, that was TWO addresses ago.). Somehow, the two copies of the notice to appear at court that were mailed to both his sister, and brother's houses were mysteriously lost in transfer. So weird, of all the rotten luck.
So, there I was again this morning. An hour early for my 9:30 appointment.. Too early, in fact to even enter the court house yet. So there I stood in the rain, with my coffee and NY Post. Oh, I love my propensity for being early. It never screws me up, never. Finally got into the building and found myself a seat in the hallway. At 9:30, I popped into court room to check in and let them know I was there. See now, I know the drill since I've done this all before. I'm like a regular fucking divorce court pro already. (maybe a slight exaggeration, but stay with me.)
Minutes later, I saw John enter the building. DAMN! I was seriously hoping the douche bag wouldn't show up, thus in sighting the wrath of the judge. But there he was, swaggering in with his arrogant confidence, new tie, and just-polished tasseled shoes. I wanted to throw up. I pointed him in the direction of the courtroom. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I feel the need to help him despite the bullshit??? I guess my parents are to blame for that? Good will and good manners first. It really is second nature. If I see someone looking for help, and I know I can help... well, I have to. Even when it's HIM.
He checked in too.. clearly, he knows the workings of the court house as well... which makes sense, given his numerous trials in the past three years. This, being his third in three years. He's like a friggin marathoner-- once they get their first race under their belt, they feel the need to keep going, in any city within driving distance! I guess for John, he feels that way about being a defendant in court? Cooky kid.
---------I have to take an aside for a moment to apologize, and/or explain my sarcastic tone tonight--------while I always include a good amount of sarcasm and some profanities in my posts, I can't really reele it in tonight. so there's a pretty good chance the remaining segments will involve a good amount of ill willed sarcasm and jeering. for those of you that don't like it, sorry. For those of you who speak MY language, ENJOY!
He sat right next to me. There were plenty of seats in the hallway, but he sat next to me. I guess he thought it was the polite thing to do since I pointed him in the right direction, maybe? I don't know. But I wasn't thrilled about it. I could smell his breath as he read the paper. Not a particularly bad smell, but not good. Just a really overly familiar, unwelcome smell. Any other person in the world probably wouldn't have noticed anything at all, but to me, it turned my stomach. They say that the sense of smell is the most powerful of all the senses. That it can trigger memories and emotions like no other sense. And that's totally true for me. Ugh. Gross. Get Away!
Finally I broke the silence by asking, "sooo, is your lawyer here?" He replied, "I don't have one yet. I'm going to ask for an adjournment until I can seek legal council." .........huh....................ok............... crickets.
and then: "well, I didn't KNOW about the first court date, so I didn't know about anything....."
Me: "uh, if you would open your mail, you would've known about the first court date! I'm not your mother. It's not my job to tell you about your responsibilities. And it's been a MONTH since the first court date, that's PLENTY of time to find a lawyer!"
Here's the part where I wanted to punch him in the neck and also pull my hair out in chunks. Fucking dolt. So I briefly spoke with my lawyer in between her other hearings that she had going on. She asked me if I wanted her to try to talk to him... to which I told her, "sure"... assuming that she might enjoy banging her head against the wall. She approached him, and tried to reason with him that it might be a better decision to just try to talk things out, work out the checks and what not. She pointed out that once his criminal trial is done, they can garnish the monthly check, at which point it's gone! Wouldn't he rather it benefit the boys? He repeatedly stated that he wouldn't talk without legal representation.
And that was that. He wouldn't be reasonable at all.
Finally, 5 hours later, the judge called us in. I stated my name and address for the record. As did he. Then the judge said that she understands that the defendant asked to re schedule because he didn't have legal representation. She gave us our new date: January 31, 2012. Then, she dropped the formalities and focused in on John:
"You realize, Mr C, that you must be there on time next month. You need to be there on time, with your representation, if you choose to have representation. This is the second time we are meeting for this case where you are the cause of reschedule. If you do not show up to the next hearing, or if you show up unprepared, I have the right to grant a default divorce, and you will have NO say in any of the conditions. Do you understand that Mr C?" .....yes, your honor.
damn right, your honor.
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