Pop envy

John has been in one of his "dad" modes the past week or so.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe because the court date is coming up, his lawyer advised him to visit and/or talk to the boys more?  To show what a stellar dad he is?  I don't know.  It's impossible to try to figure out his ulterior motives.. but I would bet it's not because he's looking to spend time with the boys.  It just doesn't add up, based on past behavior.   After not visiting the boys here since early last summer, he showed up for an hour or so on Halloween, then he came again last Friday to take them for pizza, and last night he told them he was going to come again this week for pizza, and that he would be visiting a lot more often from now on.  Fantastic.  Just what I need.  My fucking black cloud making a "promise" to come around more often.  Luckily, I know how reliable his promises are.  He just better not break my boy's hearts with whatever he's got up his sleeve.. they've had enough already.

Which brings me to tonight's story.  It's a good one (to me, anyway).  So, at bedtime, it was the normal routine.  I was getting the boys into their pajamas, while they spoke on the phone (speaker phone) to their dad to say goodnight.  It's always a little bit chaotic.  The boys are still wound up and trying to work out every last bit of energy before they have to get into bed.  The phone calls are always strained, and filled with my voice reprimanding them to settle down and talk nicely to John.  It's hard. They're little, and hyper, and it's not easy to have a normal conversation with a man who thinks that world revolves around him that that 2 toddlers can sit still long enough to listen to his droning.  But, I diverse. 
Tonight, right smack in the middle of their phone call, my dad ("Pop" to the boys) knocked on the door,  and peeked R's little stuffed wolf through the crack of the doorway.  R squealed with happiness over Pop finding his lost friend, wolf!  And both boys got up and ran to the door to squeeze in one last hug and kiss with Pop and yell goodnight and I LOVE YOU!  one more time before bed..  it was a very cute moment.  .  very Cheerios commercial type of moment...    and John got to hear every word of it.

As soon as Pop left and I got them settled back down, John said in his best rendition of a sullen, hurt man, "well, I guess I'll let you guys go to sleep now.  goodnight guys, love you. *click*"

That's right, he heard the joy in their voices over seeing their Pop, and became fully aware of the fact that just because he might be their biological dad, he is NOT their father figure.  He is NOT who they think of when it's time to give hugs and kisses at bedtime.  He is an afterthought to them.  And as heartbreaking as that might be, I am so grateful that the boys have their Pop.  He's about the best guy and role model a mom could ask for for their sons.  He loves them unconditionally, and hands on.  Today, he took R for a walk to the firehouse up the street to sit in the firetruck and meet the firemen... just for the hell of it.  Just cause he felt like doing something cool with his grandson.  And Ry was over the moon about it.  Pop.  He's the best.