To clarify--- yesterday, I got the news that John would be going to Riker's Island on Thursday.. He was offered a deal from the judge in his case of jail time, OR probation. The deal was that if he got probation, he would have to come up with $13,000 in restitution to the restaurant that he robbed. He didn't have it. So he texted me to ask me to call him. When I asked him why, he texted me about going to jail and to ask me to bring the boys up to see him so he could say goodbye. He was convinced that he would not make it out of there alive. For obvious reasons, but also because of the mob guys that he helped put away..
So I cried all day.. and J cried all day with me. I told J that daddy got a new job and had to move far far away and that we wouldn't be able to see him anymore.
Then I bought a bottle of wine and plowed through it. and blogged.
That's why it didn't make a whole lot of sense.. it made sense to me... as much sense as I could muster, anyway.
And then I got a call this morning that John's family all showed up at his house last night and chipped in the money so that he won't have to go to jail. They aparently staged a big intervention with all sorts of conditions like he has to go to therapy, and join GA (gambler's anonymous), and get a job, move in with his older brother, etc etc.
I was relieved to hear he wasn't going to jail. Seriously, I was. I had a very very hard time imagining the horrible things that could and probably would have happened to him in there. And yet, there is a part of me that is pissed off that he is still not being held accountable... again.
this is an extremely tough situation with many factors and I have no clue how you are navigating it all. Taking it 1 day at a time, I guess. I would have the same feelings you have - I hate when someone does something wrong and then continually gets "bailed out". Will they ever learn? Will he emerge a better person from all this?
ReplyDeleteYou try to put on a good face for the boys day to day, but more often then not it's overwhelming and you just get snippy and in a bad mood, then hate yourself for the bad mood. A no win situation.
Hopefully this divorce gets settled soon and that's one issue "off your back". Living expenses is the daily headache and it will be great when you reach a point to not have to worry about that. Just keep moving forward - everyone is rooting for you :-)