Confirmation

So, it's official now.  John did not get any Christmas gifts for the boys.  Not one.  Last Wednesday, when I took the boys up to his house to pick up the dogs and let them have a visit, they opened some Christmas gifts.  They were mostly labeled-- all from Aunts and Uncles and the boys' paternal Grandparents.  A couple of little remote control cars, a soccer ball, and a rock'm sock'm game with Buzz Lightyear and Emperor Zurg as the boxers. .  John didn't know who the rock'm sock'm was from.  That was it.  Not ONE gift from Daddy.  Not the wii game that he assured me that he had gotten, nothing.  So pathetic and sad.  Well, now at least I have confirmation in my mind that was the real reason that the boys and I were uninvited from the Christmas with his family.  I never really doubted that, but it gives me a small sense of sanity when I get certain proofs.  When you live so many years being completely enveloped in lie after lie, it gets really exhausting and you begin to question your perception of everything and doubt your own gut.

The past few days have done little more than to leave me more frustrated and confused than ever..  I don't think ANY of what John told me about his family coming up with the money and staging an intervention was true.  Or maybe it was.  Or maybe just some of it???  I have no idea about anything anymore.   I was telling my lawyer about how John has himself completely convinced that she is doing everything in her power to sabotage his criminal case and that she was being calculated in sending the documents and motions to the Manhattan D.A.  Apparently, either the judge or the d.a. read my lawyer's motion in court regarding him being prohibited from using the monthly check to pay restitution.  It was brought up during his sentencing that he was attempting to use the note, and it was pointed out that the note is the sole income of his wife and children and that he was attempting to take it from us.    While I LOVE that this occurred, it was just a matter of legal protocol, NOT my lawyer trying to put him behind bars. 

During this conversation, my attorney mentioned that the d.a. wanted very much to put John in jail.. At one point, the d.a. (allegedly) told my lawyer that John is a "bad guy. This crime is the only one we can get him on, but he's a real piece of shit..."   I don't know if that was the exact wording, but it was something to that effect.   Which has my mind racing once again.  I wonder WHAT else the d.a. knows that I don't know!  My kingdom for a peek at his files!  

So in that one conversation, I learned that John definitely did, in fact, attempt to use the note for his probation--- despite his denial time after time after time.  I learned that he is being looked at for other crimes besides this most recent one.. And I learned that John was belittled and humiliated in public court.  That last part makes me really happy.

So, I got a couple of new truths to add to my short list..  but with those truths, came a whole shit load of new questions.  Oh, I wish I could just spend 2 hours inside his twisted mind to see all the crazy that he has caused and committed.