SAT words

Supercilious:  Arrogant.  Over convinced of one's own superiority or importance.  An arrogant person treats others with condescension. 
Syns: disdainful, haughty, high and mighty, hoity-toity, insolent, lofty, lordly, overbearing, presumptuous, proud, superior.
-(Roget's II The New Thesaurus)

What is, "words I might use to describe Aunt T  this weekend? 

This past weekend was my sister M's baby shower.  We almost didn't have one, since this is her second baby, but it's been 5 1/2 years, and it is a boy and is from a second marriage.  So I felt it was appropriate to throw a shower to make sure she has everything she needs, and also to honor the "new family" and their first child.

The thing is, I don't really "do" party planning.  I'm not great at it.  I don't love attending showers, let alone planning one.  I was so grateful when M's sister in law offered to host it at her house and do most of the cooking.  So, my responsibility was fortunately reduced to sending out the invitations, keeping track of the rsvp's, making salads and desserts.  Easy peasy- relatively speaking.

About 2 weeks ago, Aunt T called me up out of the blue to ask if her daughter in law, C was invited, because she never received an invitation.  "Oh shit!  I completely forgot! Total oversight.  I didn't even think of it.  Oh, let her know that of course she's invited! I'll give her a call and let her know."
Woopsie daisy.  Oh well, I'll give her a ring or a text, or an inbox or something. 

Well, a week passed, and I realized I'd forgotten to call C.  So I picked up the phone and called her.  No answer, so I left a message.  "Hey C, It's Judy.  I tooootally forgot to send your invitation!  It was just a stupid oversight.  Your old address was crossed out in my Mom's address book, so I flipped passed it, and then just continued on to the next letter of the alphabet without looking for your current address. Sorry bout that!  Anyway, I know your due date is right around the corner, and I heard the dr thinks your baby is gonna be arriving sooner than they thought, so I understand if you don't want to make the drive.  Either way, you're invited. Hope you're feeling good! Bye."  All true.

So, this past Saturday was the day.  Me and my older sister J drove down an hour or so early with our kids to help set up.  We got there, and M's sister in law, J had everything under control.  She had the house all set up and decorated.  The chafing trays were set, sternos lit, food in the oven warming.  The girl is GOOD when it comes to hostessing an event.  So we took the kids outside to play, and basically tried to stay out of the way.  Slowly, a few guests started arriving.  Mostly J's family, to help with any last minute things.  Then my Mom and Aunt T arrived.  By this time me and my sister and the kids were back inside out of the cold. 

Here it comes.

So me and J are sitting across from each other, just bullshitting.  The kids are all playing right in front of us on the floor.  Aunt T moseys up to our area and J starts out, "hey Aunt T, you got my rsvp about C's shower next week, right?  My daughter is marching in her first St Patty's parade, so I'm gonna miss the shower."
Me: "oh yeah, did you know if C ever got my voice mail?  I left her a message the other day, but haven't heard back from her."
Aunt T:  (In louder than usual voice and tone)  "Don't even go there today Jude! Don't go there with me today!!"
Me:  "huh?  what does that mean?  Go WHERE with you, exactly?"
J: "what are you talking about Aunt T? What do you mean?"
Aunt T:  "Ya know what Jude, all I know is I left C is tears last night, I was in tears, and B (Aunt T's son,  C's husband, my cousin) was upset.  So don't go there with me today!!!!!  
-exit stage left-

What in the who the where the huh???

A little background on Aunt T.  She has always been, hands down, my favorite relative, outside of my immediate family, of course.  She's my Dad's only sibling. She's lived a block away from my parent's house my whole life.   She has been my basketball coach, softball coach, and friend.  I have always thought of her as a second mother.  She has been wonderful to my sisters and I our entire lives.  She is the mother of two boys (grown men now).  Because she had only boys, and my Dad had all girls, I think she always held a special place in her heart for my sisters and I.  She has referred to us as the "dolly sisters" from the time we were babies until the present... well, till this week I suppose.  Long story short, I never in a million years would believe that any weird and seemingly minor issue could ever cause a rift.  But there ya have it.

So, I sat and played with my boys for a few minutes while I tried to process what the heck just happened.  Tears were insistent upon welling in my eyes, despite my nonverbal demands otherwise.  I couldn't stop the adrenaline tears from welling. My sister J asked me if I was ok. I shook my head to give her the signal that I wasn't, which made me feel confident enough that I could walk away from my babies to collect myself and trust that she'd take over.

I walked to the front porch to collect.  Took a few deep breaths and talked to myself. "Ok, take some breaths, and suck it up. that was fucked.  (breath)  Ok, (exhale) pull it together and go back to your babies. (breath). Shit. what the fuck!(exhale). I'm pissed!"

Couldn't gather my senses.  So I walked around to the side of the house so I didn't cause any more of a scene than Aunt T had already caused.  At this point, I gave myself permission to cry in order to get it out of my system. Not because I was sad. But rather to release the adrenaline from the anger.  So I did. Then I was left with puffy eyes and some residual tears and sniffles.  I figured the best course of action would be to go to my sister's car. Sit. Apply some press powder, relax, regroup. 

So I headed around to the side of the house where the cars were parked.  And who did I come upon? That's right, my apparent arch nemesis, Aunt T!  Nice. Bring. it. on.
This time I won't be blind sided.  Here I go.

So I walked passed Aunt T and my Mom (sorry Mom!) and said in loud, clear language, "Ya know what, I WILL go to C's shower next week and I'm gonna cause a scene, just like YOU did here today!"

OOOOh yes I did. 

And it was on like donkey kong.  back and forth, fingers wagging in each other's faces. Both of us giving each other the ol' what's for.   I reminded her a bunch of times that I could give a fuck about C and B's feelings-- that they weren't the guest of honor at this shower, and that they were not worth my time in pursuing a ye or ney as an rsvp.  She reminded me several times that apparently a voice mail is not an acceptable form of invitation in the high society lifestyle that we call staten island.  I don't know. I'm gonna send a letter to Mike the Situation Sorrentino to catch up on proper Staten Island party etiquette.  He'll know who's right.

After all was said and done, I was pissed.  My sister J was upset and mad.  My Mom was beyond herself, not knowing what to think..  All the while, the actual guest of honour, M was oblivious, thank God. 

Sooo, I guess I won't be receiving anymore black and red sweatsuits for my kids from Aunt T anymore. Pity pity.

Fuckin A.

After all is said and done, my family is completely dumbfounded and confused and mad.  I'm pretty much of the thinking, that if I think you're negative in my life, I'll cut you loose.  I've had enough REAL bullshit in my life to know the difference between REAL drama and bullshit. This here is bullshit in the truest sense of the word. 
Here's a little piece of advice to Aunt T:  GET A FUCKING CLUE. Just because you have never left your cozy little microcosm of midisland staten island, doesn't mean that the real world operates under your strict odd guidelines of shower etiquette.

The real world continues to spin whether or not you recieve an invite to an inconsequesntial shower of a cousin in law, once removed.

Despite what you think, YOU ARE NOT that important in my life.  My kids, my finances, my mental well being, these are things I give my brain time for every day. You, and your spare time on your weekends, not so much.   Enjoy your crazy, but please, please, keep it to yourself.

***This just in:  I just got a message from my sister that my cousin, B, emailed her and let her know that he and his wife were not upset about anything.  All the drama was solely from Aunt T.  This makes me feel much better.  I'm glad to know that at least they were rational and normal about the whole thing.  It DOES make Aunt T seem a little more crazy tho.. since she said that B and C were upset and crying, etc. Coo coo.