Mama Bear

  Today was my son's best friend's birthday party.  This is my first born, the 4 year old.  He is so shy and insecure most of the time.  I worry about him so much, socially.  I actually contemplated keeping him in preschool for an extra year because he is so timid and sensitive that I worry about throwing him into the wolves that are the youth of Staten Island... Staten Island's south shore no less... the worst of  worst.  If you've ever seen a clip of Jersey Shore, you have some idea of what type of society we're dealing with here...  They're loud and brash and unpolished..  they are self righteous, rude and pushy.  The kind of people that I can handle, but don't want to if I don't have to..  I avoid my local supermarkets on the weekends-- not because I don't want to deal with the long lines and crowded parking lots, but because I don't want to have to deal with these people face to face in the aisles.  They're pretty awful.  Don't get me wrong-- there's good people around here too-- the "old school" south shore.  The people that were here when I grew up here. Before the real estate boomed out here and all the fast food and/or chain stores came to town  and brought along with them all the condos and ugly mass produced town houses..  There was a time out here when we had a handful of corner deli's, one supermarket (A&P) and two pizza places. The kids around here when I grew up rode huffy bikes till the street lights came on, and had birthday parties in the back yard.
My first born can't handle the people here now.  It's mostly my fault, I'm sure.  He was my first born.  I sheltered him, protected him, and didn't prepare him to live here and hold his own.  He has a huge heart and a conscience the size of a mack truck.   He wants everyone to do good, all the time.   He doesn't understand the dynamics of those kids that like to play rough and bully..  He just doesn't understand.  <<SIGH>>>  My poor kid.  He's screwed.
This party today did give me a little hope.  He did really well with his buddy.  They ran and played and he hardly looked for me at all.  He felt so comfortable with his friend, and his friend was so sweet and nice and made sure my boy was with him the whole time.   I wish so much that his friend was going to the same school as him next year.  But he's not.
Well, anyway, today made me feel reassured a little bit.   J isn't going to just drown in the sea of the rough'n'tough's, I hope.  If he finds one little friend that is as kind and caring as he and his current best friend, I'll be happy.  I just want him to be happy.