Message to the pups.

I tend to say things to my dogs at night after the boys are in bed that I would actually like to say to the boys, but can't.

I'm sorry Scout. I'm sorry that I don't get you groomed nearly as much as I should.  I'm sorry that everything is so crazy now, and I don't pay nearly as much attention to you guys that I used to.

Sorry Belly.  Sorry that you don't get the snuggles that you really crave as often as you would like.

I'm sorry I don't take you outside to play as much as I should.

I'm sorry that Mommy's a little bit crazy lately and neglectful of you guys. 

I wish I could give you guys everything you want and need.

I'm sorry Daddy screwed up and isn't here anymore.

I know that there's things that you guys need, and want, and deserve to have that I can't give you.

It feels good to be able to say these things out loud.  I mean them for the dogs too, but really for the boys.  I can't say these things to the boys because I have to keep trying to convince them that life is GREAT!  Fun fun fun!  Keep them smiling as long as I can. That's the goal.   Cannot ever let on that their Dad is a dead beat criminal.  .

So, I'll just tell the dogs again.