Downer alert: I'm in a pretty deep spiral of self pity these days. I can't find my happiness in anything. I'm grateful for the health of my boys and myself... but that's pretty much where it ends.
I suck lately. I'm not studying the way I should be. I'm not really doing much of anything the way I should be.
I'm spending a good amount of my time just feeling sorry for myself and my circumstances and counting the minutes till the boys go to bed and I can pour my first glass of wine and wallow in it.
I'm not proud. Obviously. I'm having a very hard time seeing the light at the end of my tunnel lately. I just starting prepping for the entrance exam into the nursing program, and am feeling really pessimistic about the whole thing. I feel like I've been wasting my time going back to school. I hate school. Haaate it. I know that it's all gonna be worth it, yadda yadda yadda... but Jesus Christ, I hate being a student. I think that if and when I get into the nursing program, I'll like it. But all this chemistry/ biology crap that I'm certain will never play a role in my professional life just killllllllls me.
Ok, well, I'm actually sick of listening to my own whining, so I'm going to end this here. You. are. welcome.
Just a last reminder to remember Ty Campbell in your prayers tonight. He is still fighting a great fight, and I am still pullin for a great miracle!! Please pray for him, his little brother, Gavin, and his Mom and Dad, Cindy and Lou.
www.superty.org Amen. :)
You need a paradigm shift. You need to change your "self talk", to inspire you in a different way.
ReplyDeleteYou already know that these classes are working towards changing your life for the better, and so many other internal things that are positive.
You need to look at it like this: by becoming a nurse, you are going to help SO many families like the Campbells. You are going to be on the front lines, giving them the care they need, and providing the support to their families that is so vital.
and in the meantime, you need to muddle through these classes that are annoying... but you are smart enough to get through it, and strong enough to do it. so..... do it. :D